When I look back through my life and wonder why I didn't reach a goal I had set for myself, or I didn't reach towards a dream of mine, it is almost always fear. And mostly the fear of rejection. No one likes to that feeling that comes after you are rejected. I often feel like my face is bright red, I walk away trying to act like it doesn't hurt, or sting at all, but the reality is I'm embarrassed and beating my self up for even trying. For so long it prevented me from even trying. I know my senior year of college everyone was excited to submit their applications to colleges. All very anxious to see what schools they would get into. Where would they end up next year. I applied to one school, that's it. And before I even sent the application I had convinced myself I wasn't going to get in, so I was prepared for that rejection letter to come in the mail. I didn't apply to a backup school. I remember not feeling like I could withstand that rejection. I figured I could always go to community college - they don't reject anyone. Of course at the time I didn't see it was my fear of rejection that prevented me from achieving a college dream, but as I look back today it is so clear.
I recently came across "rejection therapy". It is much simpler then it sounds. Jia Jiang, was much like me, paralyzed by fear of rejection. But he decided to do something about it. He started his personal project of 100 days of rejection. He talks about how his first day he went up to a stranger and asked them to borrow $100. He purposely was trying to be rejected. He wanted to see if it would eventually get easier to be rejected.
As I listened to his story, I had a light bulb moment. I know I am going to be told "no" in life. That's a fact. But I thought back so some of the most successful people, entrepreneurs, visionaries, and they all are rejected. The difference is, they don't let it stop them. So, if you hear enough "no"s , eventually you will get that "yes". Statistically, its bound to happen. Most likely, the only person that feels a little scared after being rejected, is me. I am the only one who will loose sleep over it. And there is only one person feeling beat up, and that's myself. So what if I just don't let myself get to that place. When I hear that "no", maybe that's just one more "no", that gets me closer to a "yes".
So, moving forward each "no" will be embraced with a little bit of gratitude. I need to be rejected in order to achieve that success!